Jacob lay down to sleep in his tent, but could only stare blankly at the dark canopy above him as his thoughts troubled him deeply. On other nights the rhythmic ambience of the desert would help calm his mind until fading into sleep – but tonight was different. All his life he had been in some kind of trouble or another, but this night was the eve of a dreadful day whose approach he feared since a young man. 21 years before his mother warned him to run his for his life because his brother purposed to kill him. As he passed through his brother’s land Jacob hoped that the years had cooled his rage against him, but news came of his brother’s coming – with an army of 400 men.
Hoping to appease his brother through lavish gifts, Jacob sent hundreds of animals in 3 separate droves – but he still feared that it wasn’t enough. Like the blessing he stole from his brother all those years before, Jacob’s only true hope was something intangible. The blessing itself had no physical value at all, but represented the favor of his father’s God. He certainly didn’t feel blessed on that night when he ran from his brother and used a pile of rocks as pillows to sleep on, but there on those rocks he had a dream that would change his life forever. In his dream God Himself promised that he would be with him, bless his offspring, and bring him back to that land. When he awoke from the dream Jacob built a pillar to God on the spot he slept and vowed that the LORD would be His God – and that he would give back to God a tenth of all He gave him.
As Jacob reflected in quiet it was impossible to deny that he had increased greatly since running away with nothing, but the last 20 years had also been full of troubles. He couldn’t help but wonder – was God really with him as He had promised? All his life Jacob had been a trickster of sorts, and he knew how to manipulate situations to get what he wanted. Now he had come to the end of his own ability, and His only Hope was in the invisible God of his father. Although God had provided Jacob with plenty of evidence including dreams and angelic visitations – now was the time when his faith was truly being tested. Deciding that sleep was a lost hope, Jacob roused his family and sent them forward in their journey while he remained alone in the night.
There in the darkness Jacob discerned a lone figure standing brightly in contrast to the background, and he realized instantly that this was an angel of the LORD. Feeling powerless and having no control over his situation, Jacob knew that the angel had what he needed to overcome his fear. With all the passion of a desperate man, Jacob ran and tackled the angel. For hours Jacob wrestled with the angel and would not relent, and the angel touched a muscle in his thigh which instantly shrank and caused him to limp on one leg. When dawn began to break the angel demanded Jacob release him, but Jacob said, “I will not let you go, except you bless me.” –Genesis 32:26 The angel then blessed Jacob and renamed him Israel
Like Jacob, true faith can only begin when we have come to the end of our own ability and realize that God is our only hope. When Jacob realized that God was the only hope for his situation, he left off everything else and directed all of his energy and might toward Him alone. The outcome of that wrestling match with God would leave him crippled for the rest of his life, but with a new identity and confidence in God that he never before possessed. Jacob was no longer the self-reliant trickster he had been, but an overcomer through the God of his father. As followers of Christ, the energy we spend toward God reflects the degree of our reliance on Him. When we move from self-reliance to reliance on God we also become crippled in our own ability – but that is exactly what we want! We can never be overcomers through our own power alone, but instead “..we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.” –Romans 8:37
