The people stared in wonder at the emaciated prophet hanging on the roughly hewn timber before them; His blood trickling down the sides of the cross and pooling at the bottom. The very people who ate of the bread He multiplied, and were healed of diseases, and heard the prophetic voice were all in attendance. Many shrugged to themselves, “He saved others… but Himself He can’t save.” Others angrily exclaimed, “If He were really a prophet He would come off the cross – then we would believe Him.” All of this only served to distract them from their deepening sense of guilt as the sky grew dark above while Jesus remained all but silent on the cross. During the trial and crucifixion He spoke almost nothing – no angry protests of self defense, no cursing at the world, only a quiet submission to whatever judgments were laid upon Him. This disturbed the people greatly – and hoping to antagonize Him into a fit of vile cursing they soaked a rag in vinegar and shoved it into His face when He asked for water. If He cursed them it would make them feel more justified in their actions, but instead Jesus looked up and said, “Father, forgive them – for they know not what they do.”
What does true love look like? If Jesus is the example that God has given us of true love, then it is the most selfless expression of affection possible – that is vulnerable to the point of death. The love that Jesus expressed was not only without reciprocation, but it angered the people to the point of murdering Him. In a world where cruelty is a way of life, the Love that Jesus expressed was threatening and made people question His legitimacy. Normally ‘loving’ behavior was the way of con artists who were only interested in manipulating others for personal gain. Convinced that Jesus was a deceiver the people condemned Him to the judgment of the cross – and expected His true character to emerge in the final moments. Instead Jesus loved them to the point of death, knowing that they didn’t understand His heart for them.
It is sad that as much as our world longs for true love, we can’t believe it when we see it. Our understanding of love is so mired in selfishness and self serving ways that it is impossible for us to conceive of anything else. Human relationships are so mired in this distorted thinking that what we call ‘love’ is really no different than ‘taste’. All of us have different tastes, and we say that we ‘love’ whatever appeals to our particular appetite. Our concept of love revolves completely around ourselves – and relationships with other people are no different than our ‘relationship’ with pizza or ice cream. Once other people no longer satisfy our taste, we say that we no longer love. If a person no longer provides us with a sense of self-affirmation, we no longer love them. Or if a person fails to gratify our selfish desires any longer, we no longer love them. Unfortunately most of us are never are able to experience true love – because we are never able to get past our own desires.
An expression of true love is only giving – and expects nothing in return. Scripture tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:5 that love, “Does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil…” Common expressions of love – an embrace, or a kiss, are empty gestures unless they are backed with true love. If an embrace or kiss is made with the intention of satisfying a personal desire then it is no longer an expression of love at all. Of course what this means is that our society is hopelessly lost, because for the most part our relationships revolve around the satisfaction of our own desires. This is especially true in our conception of sexuality – what God intended to be the greatest expression of true love in marriage we have turned into a meaningless act of self service. Instead of an exchange of love between two people in a lifetime commitment, we use others as tools for gratification and bolstering of self.
In order to find true love, we must be willing to surrender our control. As long as we are in control it is impossible to receive love – because love requires vulnerability. Many people would rather choose to be in a thousand different relationships and have control than be in a single loving relationship without control. Once you have truly opened your heart to another person you can be deeply wounded by that person – but at the same time that is the only way to experience the intimacy of true love. That is why God designed marriage the way it is – Love can only be experienced within the safe haven of a lifetime commitment. Marriage is symbolic of the covenant relationship that God wants to have with each one of us – a commitment backed by true love meant to last forever. But just as in a human relationship, we can’t enter into that covenant until we truly open our heart to Him. What Jesus spoke to the church at Laodicea He is still speaking to us today, “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come into him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” –Revelation 3:20 There could be no greater picture of the intimacy of true love-
